When I get bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great
parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I’m
leaving.
Humor is a rubber sword – it allows you to make a point
without blood.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you
is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a
path from the doorway to my bed.
I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time.” So I ordered “French Toast during the
Renaissance.”
I installed a skylight in my apartment…The people who live
above me are furious!
You have an inferiority complex -- and it’s fully justified.
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